slow progress

am feeling very quiet and withdrawn today....hiding in a room in my mind - (in the words of kate bush)....changing one's thought process's and lifestyle patterns does not happen overnight and is a long and painful process....presently i am as one detoxifying....slowly....painfully.....somehow it will be better eventually but the process of letting go and bits breaking off is like succumbing to a fever of sickness...easier in the warmth of someone's hands