barrier of pain

wheat or chaff, black sheep or white sheep, talented or untalented, wisdom or stupidity, valued or worthless, punished or rewarded, cruel foreign relatives....sometimes you just have to say it or implode, explode, choke, break, never recover......the huge barrier of pain that exists between me and my birth family creates a huge barrier of pain between me and the rest of the world....between me and relationships...between me and happiness....between me and success....between me and love...no matter how accepting or forgiving i try to be i am always filled with guilt and worthlessness....the barrier of pain never fails to provide more